Las Vegas
Time 1:08am Friday
Sydney time: 6:08pm Saturday
Temperature: 27 degrees
No shotgun marriage. Check.
Elvis is alive... and alive... and alive on every footbridge and corner. Check. Clogged arteries now realise why the vast population of Americans are so bloody overweight. Check. Now I know why that Michelle Bridges cried and wailed about her body being a temple. If I don't get back to Sydney soon, I will need to be rolled onto a plane.
Thursday was a day to acclimatise and become accustomed to the fact that I was:
a) actually alone
b) on my own
c) did I mention I was traveling without friends?
If I hear one more person ask me where my friends were, I will make a weird face. Yeah.. that'd freak them out.
If one more person guesses that I am from London, I will have to just talk in an English accent so I get a kick out of how dumb some people are. Apparently to the American untrained ear, it is difficult to tell the difference between an English and an Australian accent. Go figure.
Thursday I spent at Miracle Mile shops were I proceeded to become lost once again. I was extremely successful in my shopping - a bit too much! Blowing half the shopping budget in the space of an hour makes me still want to cry...
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| One of the casinos in my travels |
Always alert for another chance to shop, I raided the shops for a more whore-ish dress and ended up buying a black Herve Leger imitation dress from Bebe. It was short, black, tight without screaming hooker. I was annoyed that I had a perfectly good Herve Leger dress at home and didn't bring it grrrrrr!
Peepshow started at 9pm. Me being ever optimistic about the distance to get to Planet Hollywood from Bills had a late dinner. This ended up in me rushing back to the hotel, getting changed and tangled in the new dress and tottering about 400m down the Strip with catcalls about my fluoro yellow shoes. I know they're hot but did you really need to chase me down the Strip to tell me so?
I had bought a VIP ticket so I was placed on a table with this unfortunate looking older man. He was from Blacktown, Sydney. What were the odds of being plonked on a table with a Sydney-sider? The show itself was pretty damn awesome. Lots of sensual, sexual dancing (I was disappointed in the pole part but the chick looked very hot nevertheless) and lots of breast flashing. Blacktown just couldn't contain his vocal appreciation when someone whipped off their bra. Holly herself was very hot and I was literally less than a metre away from her since our table was right next to the middle runway. Hugh definitely made sure his Playgirls got some pretty impressive assets!
The show ended at 10:30pm which was when I started making my way over to Aria...
Arrived at Aria around 11pm to be ushered into Gold nightclub. The music was pretty damn good (similar to Marble Bar) but just the crowd wasn't the best. Open bar till midnight meant that I had as many drinks as possible. A black 37 yr old guy called Colin from New York started talking to me. It is Memorial Day on Monday (similar to ANZAC Day) so everyone goes on holidays to take advantage of the long weekend. I was introduced to his posse which made me laugh. There was a stereotypical massive guy and then one who looked like he lived on a permanent diet of protein shakes and protein bars. I was asked to go to LAX with them but declined.
I made my way downstairs to Haze and was waiting in line with one of the club spruiker guys (a different one). He was quite cute, young but sadly for a sponsored snowboarder, thought that New Zealand was in Africa. He tried to cover it up by saying it sounded like Madagascar AHAHAHA.
There were two Asian chicks in the line in front of me with a weedy white guy who had a black velvet jacket on. They were quite nice, fro California and invited me to hang out with them once they discovered I was on my own.
I found out later that this guy was trying to get lucky so was buying us rounds of drinks. I never did find out if he did because about 30 min after getting inside Haze, the girls 'went to the bathroom' and never came back.
By that time I was progressively embarrassing - read drunk - dancing with a rather good looking 29 yr old cop from Redondo Beach called Ryan. I had bailed him and his friend Ross from being kicked out by pretending they were with me and yes, Mr Bouncer, I will keep them away from the white line. Ryan and I sat down on a seat, only to be told that we couldn't sit down unless we paid for the privilege. Apparently 'losers' (this is the bouncer's words, not mine) pay about $1000 for a booth and you get bottle service and girls brought to you. The bouncer was a Kiwi and when he heard my accent, he was happy to tell me all about it and let us sit for a little bit. Around 2:30ish, Ryan and I left Haze since neither of us could take the loud music any longer, became lost trying to get out and ended up having a discussion on worldly matters on a cold concrete wall in the middle of nowhere.
It turned out that Ryan and Ross were staying with friends of Ross in Aria so we decided to go upstairs to find Ross' friends. It turned out that Ross had gone traveling 4 years ago and met an Aussie named Brett during his travels - as you do.Aussie is getting married in a week, decided to do a Hangover-type bucks week and contacted Ross to come over to Vegas for a good time. Ryan and I turned up to this absolutely gorgeous penthouse suite that had an awesome view of the Strip. Drinks were poured aplenty and merriness was all around. A bit too merry and loud because the next thing we know, security guards have come up to the room with a 'recommendation' that we all vacate the room. Started a mas exodus and helped the guys shift many cases and bottles of booze down a few levels. Brett had managed to wrangle 3 rooms for the Aussies, none for the Americans. With Ross left to fend on his own somewhere in town, I suggested to Ryan that he could stay at my hotel. The offer was taken and we cabbed it over to bills. The time was 6am by then and the sun had already started to cast red-pink-purple hues against the mountains in the far distance.
Nothing more to add aside from:
a) no we didn't end up sleeping together. I told Ryan I wanted to sleep and he replied that he was so f*&ked that he probably couldn't get it up anyway
b) he did keep trying to stroke my hair, hold my hand as I fell asleep etc which was nice and all but reminded me of Rhys, i.e. who the hell does all that lovey dovey touch feely stuff and then just doesn't call or disappears?
We woke up around 11ish and departed afterwards - me to Serendipity 3 for breakfast and him to Caesars Palace because Ross had managed to get into the pool there and was not moving from there. I felt so ill that I couldn't eat breakfast and had to get my food boxed up. I had to nap again and woke up around 1.30pm... the rest of the day was a write-off so I hopped on the bus out to Las Vegas Premium Outlets and bought more bloody stuff. The suitcase is now almost full PLUS I bought a Samsonite carry one blue hard case luggage at the outlet to hold more stuff!! Ive definitely exceeded the shopping budget but oh well... I will try and refrain from now on!
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| I heart AK-47. It reminds me of Goldeneye |
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| Take that zombie target! |
There was a group of Asians who had decided to go shooting for a friend's birthday. The girlfriends were telling me that watching me shoot a gun was a turn on - mainly because all my shots hit the paper (if it was a real person, they'd have some pretty bad head shots) and a few of the boyfriends completely missed the target and shot everything else... like the ground or the clip that was holding the target up!
Being the soft boring person I am, I decided to have a quiet night and wander the packed streets of the Strip. I also have a massive blister from the night before so was not in the mood to wear heels! Friday night is definitely the night to be in Vegas! I was supposed to go to Marquee but after seeing the line, was glad I decided to have a quiet night.
The adventure continues...
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