Miami Ghetto

After almost missing my flight for a scrumptious sugar laden Cinnabon, I landed at balmy Miami airport. Balmy meaning it is exactly hot and humid like a Sydney summer. Perfect for the beach!

The first thing that struck me was a group of black chicks that were waiting for the bus in the bus terminal at the airport. I say this because all three of them were in their bikinis. Waiting for the bus. At the airport. Did they get off the pane like that?! Not just your regular practical bikini in a block colour or pattern. These were bling bikinis. I don't think the Gold Coast meter maids gold bikini outfit could top these girls. In addition, it was clear that America does have a definite overweight crisis but sadly, they are not lacking in self-confidence. I'm all for being proud of your body but at least have a decent body to show off! I really don't need to be subject to stretch marks, cellulite, protruding or overhanging bellies on girls at least 5 years younger than me

 
The bus ride was fairly uneventful until we hit Miami Beach. 

What I didn't know was that on Memorial Day long weekend (it's their equivalent of ANZAC Day), there is an urban hip hop festival in Miami every year (I saw that Diddy and Chris Brown were supposed to be in one of the clubs). This meant that the three main streets - Ocean Drive, Collins St and Washington Street - were closed for about 20 blocks (from 5th to 25th Street). I stepped off the bus thinking I was in a hip hop video. You know how the dancers wear bikinis and high heels thinking it's cool? That was the norm for all the chicks roaming around! I ended up getting a cab because I thought I was going to be rolled. There were so so so many people I felt like I was in a ghetto.

The initial shock over, I arrived to the hotel around 4pm, unpacked and found myself some food as I hadn't eaten anything since that delicious Cinnabon at 5.37am. Roamed the streets and ended up having dinner at a Jap restaurant around 7. I watched the pimped out cars move slowly down the traffic-laden street with their music blaring. One thing they can do is pimp out their cars. I was amazed at how creative they were (not necessarily in a tasteful way but it made for good entertainment).

Ended back at the hotel, had a nap till 9:30pm, went online for a bit and decided to head out after 11ish.

The walk around South Beach was ok but still kind of scary because of the drunk people factor. Saw a few arrests (and man do the US cops get onto it! They swarm all over the guy like in the TV shows). I just literally walked down a street onto Ocean Drive when all of a sudden there were whistles blown and a crowd of black people running at me. There was some kind of arrest/raid going down in one of the bars so the whole crowd dispersed and ran down the street I'd just come out of. I had to turn back and run with them in case I was trampled. I felt like I was doing the Running of the Bulls in Spain.

Was flagged down several times by groups of guys, be it their names Trey, Jerome, you get the drift. They thought I was funny because I didn't get a word they were saying, i.e their slang so I had to ask them several times what the hell they were saying. I also learnt quickly to say that I had 'friends' staying in a nearby hotel. One thing that annoyed me was that to get my attention they'd nudge my arm and call me either Ching Chong or Chinatown. What the hell? That's a bit rich coming from the same people who were saying that Aussies were racist awhile ago - at least the guys don't try and pick up chicks by referring to derogatory stereotypes.

The outfits the girls were wearing were even more outlandish and skimpier than during the day. Think fishnet bodysuit with a bra and g or bikini top barely covering their massive assets (I would've seen more than a dozen nipples that were poking out) plus denim shorts that disappeared into their massive cheddar cheese ass crack. how is it that they get all offended when the guys try to pick then up? Geeeez. 

And don't get me started on the tatts of random s*&t that is all over their body. It's as though they had a momentary stroke of genius and thought 'Hey! Imma gonna get me a tatt of 10 irregular shaped stars all over my body'. I noticed a common tattoo was their star sign, be it the word, symbol, animal or all 3. I guess it's hard to remember when your birthday is... If that doesn't say original, I don't know what is.

Ate a giant slice of pizza in a little store and was being stared down by this little punk ass kid that was high.

Made it back to the hotel after 1am but it was a bit of a walk as I didn't realise how far down Ocean Drive I really was. At least for the most part, the streets were well lit.

I guess this post sounds like a bit of a whinge and very very politically incorrect. All I wanted to do was hang out at the beach and go scuba diving and all that jazz. I wasn't expecting that the entire African-American population to be there. It was more of a culture shock in that I couldn't quite believe that the whole 'hip hop/ghetto culture' was so prevalent or big - I thought it was exaggerated by the music videos and the rappers talking s*&t. It makes for awesome people watching though!